The holidays are supposed to feel magical. Instead, for millions of people — including people sitting in your church or scrolling your social feeds — they feel like surviving a gauntlet.
That gap between expectation and reality? That’s where loneliness festers. That’s where grief gets weird and complicated. And that’s exactly what Jon, Megan, and Andy tackled head-on in this episode of From Text To Testimony.
Buckle up. This one’s real.
The Myth We Need to Kill First
Here’s the lie the holiday season sells: Everyone else is happy, gathered, and whole. If you’re not, something is wrong with you.
Social media cranks that lie to eleven. Perfectly lit family photos. Matching pajamas. Gratitude posts. Meanwhile, someone is sitting alone in their car in a Target parking lot trying to hold it together.
The first act of pastoral care this season is naming the myth out loud. From the pulpit. In your group chat. In your captions. Say it plainly: the holidays are hard, and that is normal.
Pandemic Grief Didn’t Disappear — It Got Postponed
Jon makes a crucial point that most of us have quietly ignored: the collective trauma of the pandemic is still with us. We didn’t mourn it properly. Life reopened, we rushed back to normal, and the grief just… waited.
Now it shows up during the holidays. Because holidays are inherently backward-looking. They connect us to people, places, and versions of ourselves that no longer exist. When you lost someone during COVID — or lost a job, a marriage, a sense of safety — the holidays become an annual reckoning.
Intentional mourning isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
If you’re a church leader, consider building space for lament into your December programming. A quiet service. A prayer wall. Even a social post that simply says, “If this season is hard, you’re not alone here.” You’ll be shocked how many people exhale.
Depression, Anxiety, and Loneliness Are Spiking — And Your People Are Affected
The data isn’t surprising, but it’s still sobering. Depression and anxiety climb during the holiday season. Loneliness — already at epidemic levels — intensifies when culture insists everyone should be connected and celebrating.
Megan and Andy don’t just cite statistics. They share their own stories. Complex PTSD. Anxiety disorders. Grief counseling. Real, lived experience from people who love Jesus and still needed professional help.
That’s not a contradiction. That’s an invitation for your congregation to do the same.
Practical move for church leaders: normalize mental health resources in the same breath you’d normalize a food pantry. Put a counselor’s number in your bulletin. Drop a mental health resource link in your weekly email. Make it boring and routine — because routine reduces stigma.
Traditions Are Sacred, But They Can Also Be Triggers
Jon and Andy bring up something beautifully human: the weight of holiday traditions. Making tamales. Baking day rituals passed down through generations. These aren’t just activities — they’re anchors to people we love.
Which means when those people are gone, the tradition can feel unbearable. Or it can become a lifeline. Sometimes both at the same time.
For seekers and new believers especially, the holidays can surface profound questions about meaning, family, and belonging. Your online community — your Facebook group, your Instagram DMs, your comment section — can become an unexpected place of genuine connection if you create room for honest conversation.
Ask the real questions in your content: What tradition are you holding onto this year? Who are you missing? Then actually respond when people answer.
Retraining Your Brain Is Real, Practical Work
Megan offers concrete ground here: coping with negative thoughts and anxiety isn’t just “pray more and feel better.” It involves actively retraining how your brain processes fear and grief. Cognitive patterns can shift — but it takes honesty, practice, and often a trained guide.
Some starting points:
- Name the thought, don’t become it. “I’m having the thought that I’m completely alone” lands differently than “I am completely alone.”
- Interrupt the spiral with a physical action. Step outside. Drink cold water. Call someone.
- Be ruthlessly honest with yourself. Jon frames this well — the refusal to acknowledge pain doesn’t make you faithful. It makes you stuck.
Psalm 34:18 puts it simply: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” Not the people who have it together. The brokenhearted.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone — Online or Otherwise
The digital space isn’t a consolation prize for real community. Done well, it is real community. The Being the Church, Digitally Facebook Group exists precisely for this — connecting leaders who are trying to reach hurting people with real tools and real support.
Your Next Step
Watch the full episode above. Then do one thing this week: share it with someone in your congregation or online community who you know is white-knuckling through this season.
That share might be the thing that breaks their isolation.
Don’t overthink it. Just send it.
