Pulling Over to Pray: A Gaming Pastor’s Raw Battle with Depression and Fear

At that given point in time, while I was driving a virtual truck, I would literally have to pull over and pray for someone for their situation. Prayed for a woman in Minnesota and her, and her situation. I prayed for another one up in New York. Uh, I've seen many people that have come, uh, that have lost loved ones and it's. Open doors that I didn't expect at all because I'm just a Texan who likes to drive in a virtual truck.

Control Alt Redeem is for anyone called to ministry in the digital frontier. Gamers, streamers, and everyday believers navigating life online. Each episode equips you to live on mission and the real stories of lives being changed. Reset your expectations, reframe your mission, and redeem the space you're already in. This is where digital ministry gets practical, creative, grounded,

and hopefully one episode at a time welcome in everyone to control alt redeem we are resetting the culture and redeeming the space and today i've got big tex gaming who's from a remote location which this is going to be fun uh for different reasons But I, you know, I know how that is to be on the road and not have everything is spick and span as we like it. And if technical difficulties happen, we'll understand. So welcome in.

Welcome, everyone.

So why big techs gaming? I mean, you got Texas on your hat. So I mean, because I figure everybody's going to ask that. I don't always ask people their gaming names, but I figure with yours, it makes sense to just start with that.

Well, that's who I am and where I grew up, actually. I have, even though I was born in California, I was raised in Texas my entire life, practically. And how that name came about is that first of all, I want to prove that I want to be bigger and better than everyone out there at big tech. There might be hundreds of big techs gaming. What I tell my audience is that you got to prove that you're the only one that they want to see. And so when I started Big Tech Gaming, I saw there was a lot out there, but I made the point to say, Hey, who's the most entertaining? Who's still streaming? And just, I will be better than anybody that's out there. We can put it to a test. And the fact that we're going to have fun while we're doing this. But big tech gaming came about mostly because I grew up in Texas and I've been gaming my whole life.

Yeah. And I think that's where a lot of streamers, especially in Twitch, end up getting started is because they're already gaming in some capacity and they are a gamer. So how did you initially get connected to Twitch? And when you did, were you initially, I'm going to be a streamer?

Actually, it goes back to ancient computer days and figuring out how to use two regular laptops plus an Xbox and do the streaming. And of course, Twitch was my go-to because that's where I started. That's the longest platform I've ever been a part of. So I use a regular laptop to be my streaming laptop. Again, it does not have the same hardware as your game and laptops these days. And my other one was to watch myself so I can see who not necessarily watch me, but watch the viewers and stuff. Who's coming into the chat? Because I literally had a desk the size of this Ottoman here. So small, having two computers on there with an Xbox. And my very first game I played was Grand Theft Auto five and online. Out of all, of course, maybe in the past, but like you play Grand Theft Auto five. And believe it or not, that was a draw for a lot of people and for the streaming took centerfold to different platforms.

Yeah, well, it doesn't surprise me that, you know, Pastor playing Grand Theft Auto V, it might surprise a lot of other people. But I often tell people that, and I've said this on this podcast, like, hey, I was in a Pastor group. There were eight of us in the group and six of us were Assassin's Creed players. So, you know, it... Pastors are just like anyone else. We have things that we're intrigued by, things that we find entertaining, things that we enjoy. It doesn't mean that we're playing the game the same way that everyone else is. We can still enjoy the game and not do everything in the game that we might go, oh my goodness, why would you do that in a game? And then other side of it is we can just go, it's a game. And I'm not trying to live my life this way. I'm just enjoying and playing within the parameters of a game. And I don't live outside of the gaming world anywhere near what the game is advocating for.

And the neat thing is it was a huge witnessing tool on top of it by accident or default, however you want to call it. Right. Because I didn't do it intentionally to go out there to witness to everybody out there. I did it because I love the game. I love. Um, being who I am and what you see on TV is you get the real me. You don't get someone who's someone else in the real world.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, and I think, I think that's one of the things that. is really like that especially itself like you just said you didn't go intentionally to go witness you went to go play games and have fun but when then people find out hey wait a minute what do you mean you're a pastor and you're playing this now that opens up the door to conversations of coming in having questions so do you have any of those while you were doing grand theft auto conversations that impacted people's life that you can tell us about oh man i've had so many of them that uh of course i've been able to pray for people

Uh, right then and there, which is a door in of itself in a game before the mod stuff came along, but in the game itself and, uh, just how, uh, how I've been living in my life has impacted others want to live better or be better and not just, uh, be someone that, that wants to just not. live the Christian way. I don't, it's not a right title for that, but someone who not living right. Um, but I want to be that person to, I didn't go there to make change. I've went there to just have fun, hang out and let people see Christ through me. Yeah.

And so was there a specific type of person that you ran into in grand theft auto? Was it, you know, lonely people? Was it, you know, people that had you know, stuff going on in their life that was falling apart? Was it people that were, well, I mostly have everything together, but I'm really stressed because of whatever's going on. What were some of the different type of personalities and people that you ran into there?

I ran into some crazy people to say the least. Uh, one, uh, I ran into hackers. Uh, I ran into, uh, and that's a story in of itself. I ran into a lot of people wanting the need to belong to somebody, uh, whether it's a group, like the online aspects introduces and stuff. And there, a lot of people don't realize that the. People that go into these online chats, online worlds, they are probably going through depression. They're going through a loss or going through something. They need to channel that, not anger, but channel that into an atmosphere where they can just release everything, their tensions that they're going through.

Well, I wonder at times if there isn't this element of when I'm in the game, I have control. And in life, I don't always have control. In the game, the rules are the rules and you can't break the rules. In life, there's rules and they're broken all the time. uh you know like hey you know don't say things behind people's back and then people go and do it you know like all of those you know cultural norms and or you're not even talking sin but just the way you treat people and do things people break those all the time in real life so if i can go into a game and feel like i can control what's happening around me i can have control over the, the realm that I'm dealing in, I'm hanging out in, uh, there's some sense of more security in that by, by having control.

Yeah, we like to, we definitely like to be in control of our environment when, especially when things are not in our control. Um, I mean, When you're playing a video game, you make your own rules at times, but you're still in control of that situation.

Yeah. And there's, you know, you can't always control if things are going right in your life because there's a lot of other people involved, but in a game, if you mess up, you can easily just try again. You can learn from it and do something. So there's a really faster level of correcting it so that you get good at what you're doing and being able to then feel like you're excelling in something. So I think there's a lot of things that people don't realize that games are like people just say games are escape. It's more than that. It's not just you're escaping. It's a place where you can be more a master of your own domain in some ways.

Yeah, it's a, there's a lot of camaraderie there. A lot of people working together. It is a community in and of itself. And a lot of people don't realize that. or don't understand the community that's even there. It opened doors well during the pandemic that were people were doing this well before the pandemic, but it wasn't until the pandemic happened. That's when a lot of lights were being turned on and everyone wanting to get into that digital space at that time. But, uh, it is. we've been doing this for years and no one's recognized it up until the pandemic and realize that there are people struggling right now with various issues and your friend could over whoever is uh playing online there's a lot of things that's going on that we don't recognize we don't see every day but they may tell a stranger online and

Yeah, there's definitely people are willing to open up to strangers when there's a distance between us that we don't know necessarily what the defined distance is. But there is some safety in having that distance as opposed to you could influence my life and harm me in some really, you know, emotional ways here. If I trust you and you're online, I can just move on and it may not hurt in the same way. Exactly. So you start out, you got your setup and you're playing Grand Theft Auto. When did you decide that, okay, people keep asking me about faith. Maybe I need to go intentionally and stream and share my faith. Or what was that kind of journey for you like?

It really took place when I was playing American Truck Simulator. Once I got my current laptop, so I'm using now that's almost 10 years old at that time, because I thought American Truck Simulator was the same thing you saw on Xbox. The minute I downloaded that, I was like, this is not American Truck Simulator. I want my money back on that but when I found out that it was through steam and stuff and I was talking to truckers all over the world who's currently driving watching and telling me their stories it was at that given point in time that while I was driving a virtual truck I would literally have to pull over and pray for someone for their situation. Uh, I prayed for a woman in Minnesota and her, and her situation. I prayed for another one up in New York. Uh, I prayed, I've seen many people that have come, uh, they have lost loved ones. And it's open doors that I didn't expect at all, because I'm just a Texan who likes to drive in a virtual truck.

And so, so you've never driven, you've never driven a real truck, a real rig? No.

Okay. Nope. Just the bus. Well, I'm not a bus, but a paratransit bus, which has some features, but it's not six shift like these trucks that I'm driving. Right. And, but there are a lot of similarities. And that opened even more opportunities to pray and be a part of people's lives even more to a greater extent down the road. And I started that from 2017 pandemic hit around 2019, 2020. And then things really took off at that point.

Is, is that your primary game still is a truck simulator?

That is, depends on my computer situation, but as of right now. My computer situation's better behaved than it has been. And of course, the community that's rallied around me, we would spend time in Discord praying. Those that are close-knit that found my Discord, we would talk and pray. They'd bring me to another room, say, hey, can you pray for me for this situation? just the opportunity themselves have been amazing and i love my community for it and they show the respect like that i consider myself a regular joe but they know me now that i'm a pastor that you deserve the respect that a pastor gets and stuff without even asking but i just want to be there for them i wish i could Over the years, I have been able to drive to the community members that are real close with me.

Like I love meeting those same people. Say more about that.

Yeah. The, the people that have become close-knit who have the same people I've prayed for two years ago, I actually took the craziest road trip ever. And literally if someone said, Hey, can you come visit me here? I put in my GPS up. i don't care where you can live in california guess what i'm driving there as long as i have the funds to do that but a few years ago i was able to visit with five people that have been close-knit in my community and i'm visiting another my moderator tomorrow that these are the same people that have helped cut my stream family friendly focused no cussing or anything like that and make sure people behave themselves um which we do have the people that just love that are die hard over me that they can't contain themselves but these community members rally behind me and support me and what i do regardless it's not about what i'm playing it's about who i am yeah and they they have had my back Um, from town, I mean, every time I, um, get out, get online, if I'm not streaming, they're calling, texting, Hey, why aren't you streaming? Are you okay? They're checking on me on top of it. So that's a good, they want to make sure that I'm all right, that. We do go through our struggles. That's another topic in itself. Oh yeah. Well, yeah, that's definitely much later. But, uh, the fact that the same people that had been had my back for eight plus years now of doing this, now I'm able to have one-on-one visits and I actually treat them all to one thing. My favorite thing is Chick-fil-A. So every person I visited, we had Chick-fil-A. There you go. but again one community member actually provided uh lunch uh no breakfast one time i ended up coming back through and visiting again and they provided dinner and again unexpected i just wanted to be there help them out pray for them let them know that i'm here and so And so that's, that's the part I love going out and visiting those same people that say, Hey, can you pray for me today?

I love that. I mean, that's one of the things that I love, but it's one of the things that people don't understand that you can start the relationship. online and then that relationship can take steps towards being physical. A lot of people just think a real relationship has to start with physical relationship first in proximity to a person in space that we can shake hands and eat together. And then we could develop it online or over the phone or long distance, however, because that's how people did it in the past. And it's like, no. people also started out with pen pals. They would write for a bride, you know, and write back and forth and they would meet that way and then send for the bride when they were ready and the bride would come. I mean, this happens, you know, all throughout the United States as it's being settled. You know, first it's sending over to Europe and asking for brides. Later it's, you know, you're out West writing out East asking for brides. And I know that's a weird kind of connection point to bring in, but it's, it's, wait a minute you mean you start the relationship long distance and then you can have places where you gather now you know maybe but I'll just share one that hasn't happened yet, but I'm really excited about. So I have a person that watches me who's in Finland and I just found out that, okay, I didn't know they were in the military. They're over there because of the military and they're going to be moving back. And once they do, when their deployment ends, they're only an hour away from me.

Like, oh, my goodness, this is going to be so cool.

They're not the same. They're still Christian. They're Orthodox. I'm not. And we talk about that within our back and forth about things. It's like, you know what I would love to do is have you bring me to your church to worship with you. I'm like, I'm looking forward to that. And it's like. that doesn't happen if i don't meet him online because i'm not looking to go to an orthodox church and hang out yeah i'm curious but i'm not going to knock on the doors and walk in i have to meet somebody and know them first and i don't run in circles where i run into those people so I love that you're doing that and you're going around and visiting those people and being able to connect. It's one of the things that I love whenever I go to conferences. I tell people, hey, I'm here in this location. I even will put, I'm doing a layover in Atlanta. So if anybody's at the airport in Atlanta. uh you can you can stop in and see me which is really funny because the last time i was in atlanta my neighbor that is two houses down was in atlanta and we crossed each other in the the underground uh going from terminal to terminal it was like we waved at each other oh hey hello and then we just kept going so you know Like the planet is getting smaller in so many ways and digital relationships, I think, are a key to knitting us together so that we're thinking about others and not just thinking about ourselves. I mean, I don't know. I think that's just a beautiful thing.

Well, I've had so many impact on families that I had a family in Newport News, a large family. Of course, they started to follow me when they lived in Louisiana, but then they moved to Newport News. And so when an opportunity came to go visit them, which he's a fellow pastor as well. And I was able to bring them online, teach them all my tricks of the trade, basically bring in my mini office and set it up on a cardboard box pretty much. And with a little, whatever I got, tripod for a camera. And we did a little flying simulator. And so that's just one aspect. Then another is... I've, I've had several people who were on their, unfortunately, death beds, but these are people that I knew before my streaming career even took place and stuff. But the one conversation he had with his wife is like, I don't know what is up with Corey always running, driving his truck off the cliff or hitting a guardrail. Can he not drive straight?

So this is your pastor, you know, making the comment or his wife. What about all the truckers? What do they say when you can't drive straight?

One trucker who I also became good friends with, my original wheel was an Xbox 360 racing wheel, which basically had a gas and a brake. Well, those were actually reversed. The brake was the gas and then the accelerator was a brake. And this big old thing took up the majority of the desk. So my driving was so bad that he literally sent me his Xbox 360, not 360, uh, Logitech G920 racing wheel and set up so I could actually drive in a straight line. Oh my goodness. And then he came to my house and we had dinner and he also showed me the more about the setup and since then, that's all I use now. Oh, that's, that's how I broke that one.

That's super cool. I love, I love how people are invested. in you as a person and a driver not only can i help you with equipment let me help you get better at uh at the game and what you're doing that's really cool yeah he's actually drives well when he's not paying attention to chat uh penticeps uh 20 welcome in glad to have you here

Oh yeah. He's actually one I visited, uh, in Memphis, uh, a couple of years ago. And so it's really cool just seeing all these people and, but yeah, the driving has improved. I'm not crashing as often, although I can't see at night. So when ever the truck is virtually at night, my eyes are already bad because in real life, I'm not a good driver at night either.

Can't you just adjust the colors and saturations and brighten it up a little bit to help? Not really. There's a cheat code for that. Okay. Where I can make it days all the time. Oh, okay. Well, I would probably just go in that direction, but I like whenever, you know, some games you start them, it'll say adjust it until you can not see it. And here's where it should be. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not making it that dark. I don't, I don't want it that dark. I need everything as bright as you'll let me. So like, oh. You mean I can make it brighter? Let me start with that. Because, you know, when you get into the nighttime or you get into caves and other spots, it's like, no, I want to be able to see. I don't need a black screen. And, you know, you tell me there's a black bear on the black screen and I can't see it, you know.

Well, one thing as a content creator too, is that if you're driving at night, it's one thing in real life or driving at night, but if you're driving at night, the, your audience can't see it either because it's so dark and you want them to experience the stuff that you're going to do eventually versus that's why I tell them I got to make it pull over and make it daytime because. Y'all ain't going to see anything. And I ain't going to see anything. And we're all going to be driving like a blind bat or something.

Oh yeah. Yeah. That's a, that's a good thought too, is that you do definitely want it to be a viewer friendly from the standpoint of enjoyable of I can see what's going on and I know what's going on. So yeah, that's a, that's a good point too. So not only just to make it easier for yourself, but also more enjoyable for everybody that's there.

And so there's a streaming journey. It has launched several platforms, not platforms, several ideas. I've launched a cooking show that everyone's always asking about. When are you going to do your next cooking show? I haven't done one in like four or five years showcasing my cooking talents. I did a podcast, especially during the NFL draft. again, work is busy, life is busy. So that's been on hold too. Uh, I've of course taught others how to do what I'm doing on the side because I want them to do well and see, oh, I launched Liberty Church online through my gaming community, which is amazing by itself.

Yeah. Tell us about Liberty Church online. When did that get started?

Well, Liberty Church Online started in 2022. I was actually at a prayer retreat and a district superintendent asked me, the main question was, what would Liberty Church Online look like from a... Viewer standpoint, obviously you don't have the same interactions you would as a normal turd. But I did portray it as much as possible with the use of, back then you had green screens and you really don't need them no more because they've changed the aspect of how you can... put an image online and so oh yeah so i literally put myself on a stage that with someone playing the piano and someone playing their instruments i virtually put them in kind of like a hologram right and they'd be playing music i'd control all that through my computer and stuff no one would really know how it would happen And when they were done, they'd phase out, fade away and stuff. And when I came up, I had a virtual pulpit, but I had a music stand behind that pulpit. So you couldn't really tell what I was actually using at that time. So kind of using that perception and reality, trying to make it as real as possible at the same time, given that, Hey, you're in a big church, although it's in a bedroom, the size of an eight by 10, pretty much. Uh, but the picture or the reality that you see is much bigger. Eventually I did away with the green screen, got a nice pulpit and I say, you know what, we're, you're going to see the room for what it is. It's not messy. It's just sometimes confined, but either way I plan on making it so it stands out and. And every week I'm not sure what I'd be speaking on, but the Lord gave me the words of knowledge or scripture to speak. And so we had a period, of course, I was still working for the church during that timeframe when I was getting it started. And between working for a church, trying to start this, my regular job, all that became overwhelming at times. And of course, I had to take some breaks because I needed a break altogether just to breathe and rest. And yeah, so overwhelmed.

How? How do you manage that if you are the one that is beginning and leading an online church, you are a streamer on the side as well, and then you take a break because it's you. Now, I understand how you can do this in Discord. So let's leave Discord aside and where others can be stepping in. But as a content creator and as a worship leader, pastor, how do you take a break and not let... lose community and lose momentum and i i'm not saying you don't need the break i'm saying i agree you do but how do you not lose uh what you're building

Well, because I've built a community from the big tech gaming community, a lot of them have came over and supported me in my journey. It didn't matter what it was. And as I test new platforms along the way, new people were slowly finding out who I am. I mean, just last week alone, I took a week off due to whatever, whatever I was doing, I took a week off. And I came back and went live. I had one of my highest views on Tik TOK and a long time. I was like, I know it was mother's day. That might've been the effect of it, but I was very happy. And that was just one platform. The others had the same effect. It was very high. I was like, oh my gosh. A lot of it's your community driven, how your community's intact. Some build communities, they all disappear because that person does the stream ever. I built a community that is so strong and so supportive that they're going to have my back. They're going to check on me. They're going to make sure I'm all right as well. And when I do go live, they totally understand that. And I've mentioned that on screens or on the stream several times that, um, and they just, um, they, they know there's a time to take a break. And when you, when you're ready, come back, guess what? We'll still be here to support you in South.

That is really good because in, in a lot of ways, what the gaming culture and the content creator culture tells you is you just have to grind and you have to keep working and you have to keep striving. And if you take a break, somebody else is going to take your spot. People are going to migrate to the next person. So by actually building relationships in the space, people are now looking, you know, a different way of, oh, great. You're going to have a break. Great. Go do whatever you're going to do, whatever that needs to be. And then we're here for you when you come back. And if it's longer than expected. They're checking on you. I love that aspect of them and what you're developing and building there.

And there's not a lot of communities that do something like that. I mean, it's very unique, especially in the online world where people come and go and people just want the attention more than the community. And when I first started, I was like, yeah, the full-time aspect would be great, but I wasn't doing it for a full-time aspect. I was doing it because I had a sense of belonging and the fact that I got to know people on a personal level. That, and of course, uh, age appropriate because we know the online aspect has many different aspects to it. But the people that I chat with on a consistent basis, they're, they've been, I'm not saying been around, but they've been here a lot longer than I have. And, uh, so, uh, they understand the struggles that can happen. And which is why they always tell me, if you need to take a break, take a break. We'll always be here for you.

Yeah. Well, while mentioning they understand the struggles, what have been some of those struggles that you have faced? So what have been some of the struggles that you faced and had to overcome?

Well, tell you the truth, I haven't overcome them all. I'm still going through the motions, the battles. Depression is probably the biggest one, which I didn't expect that I'd be going through just because it's whenever you're starting something new, it's very hard to maintain it while doing your normal job. I mean, at times I'm wondering how did people do it back then when they somehow made a business while being at their current employment? Yeah. And then loneliness, of course, back when I was just applying all over the place, I mean, it didn't matter what job, getting all these rejections and stuff that I was like, am I not good enough? I mean, I started feeling self doubt. It took a lot of pastors, a lot of people talking to me to say, Hey, we love you. We believe in you. Love you who you are. And so, uh, but, uh, of course, uh, we want you to continue to heal yourself. And I'm, like I said, I'm going through this and right now that I'm still, it's a battle that I haven't won, nor do I claim to win. But I'm still trying to work on bettering myself and being healthy, healthy, physically, healthy, mentally, uh, having that mindset so I can speak clearly. I mean, cause I put all my exhaustion, all my emotions and exhaustion in creating all these cool things. Of course, having stability behind those. It can be very difficult at times too, which is why I've was willing to stop the cooking channel for a long time. You know, I'm just constantly asked online and offline. When are you going to do your cooking channel? Uh, I haven't done a real podcast like this in a while, just because another overwhelming thing. by itself. Liberty Church Online is still going strong, whether online or offline. It has never stopped. It's just different. People change. Times have changed. So we learned to evolve and adapt differently to the circumstances.

I'd love for you to expand that more. What have you learned and how have you adapted and modified so it meets the needs of people where they are?

All right. Well, uh, Dapton, I've been able to, uh, um, take discord was not a thing for me when I first started. And that's a great thing to do offline whenever you have maybe a core group there. And I might have 10 people in there. We've been able to, um, even though Liberty shirts online may not. meet all the time, like I try due to work schedules, but we will take it to discord and we started Bible studies or we can just talk the truth. All right, here's what we're going to do. We can pray for each other and stuff. And those are some of the key things that I was able to adapt and just continue on. And I tell people all the time that. We're in a evolving atmosphere that we don't know what the end result is going to be with any platform. And I've been along, been a part of many, actually one platform recently, no, two platforms, and they both shut down unexpectedly. One of them actually wanted me to be their brand sponsor, but they literally shut down altogether. Yeah. You now actually reached out to me in regards to, because they saw the content and my community came, but these platforms, we don't know how long they're going to be in existence. Facebook, Twitch, TikTok. I mean, the algorithm changes constantly and trying to keep up with it. That's why it all goes back to the, having that real community, that real involvement. As if you are maybe in a church setting and I'm working on myself, uh, when I have opportunities to go back to the physical church, because COVID had, I was told to, Hey, we want to see this succeed. And so without having any real guidelines of what they're looking for. And so I'm slowly making my way back to the church when I'm able to, uh, And there's a lot of stuff there that I'm working on personally, but I know God's going to work everything out and I'll be back to when I was first streaming or I came up big, but, uh, I got to work on some stuff myself and make sure I'm right with God and, and with the people around me, because the last thing I want to do is hurt anybody on any platform, whoever it is.

Yeah, you talked a little bit about the struggle with depression. How have you created, or maybe you haven't and you're still working on it, but how have you created a support network around you to be able to share some of those things that are really going on and also to be transparent with your community that you're struggling? What have you done in order to help foster that?

Well, I'm reaching out to pastors that I know and trust and just having that conversation that I should have had years ago that I'm struggling here and I didn't recognize it. I mean, I thought I was listening to the voice of God when it definitely wasn't the voice of God at that point in time. But again, I thought my thought process that I was listening to the right person when it ended up being, Uh, the wrong voice and stuff and just having those conversations and having them pray over me and just talk about this intimate stuff that I've been going through because it's at times I felt very lonely and doing this because I'm in a room by myself, my wife and my mother-in-law can hear me talking. Whether it's streaming or literally church online, but at the same time, you're still in a box contained and no one can see or know the struggles they're going through. And you have to take that first step by reaching out to people and have those conversations. And I've had a lot lately. And one thing that fear has taken a great hold of me because Fear of losing just about anything. Fear of losing your job, fear of losing your family, fear of losing your community. I mean, uh, fear of losing everything. And that has taken a great hold of my life where I needed to contain that. And I know that faith wins over fear. But I have to go through the process and figure out what's going on, what's causing it. How can I better myself?

Yeah. So what are some of those steps that you're taking to help address the fear that you're facing?

Well, I'm going, I'm going to take a, or go through a converged counseling slash coaching session that's going to be taking place within the next month. And then, um, there's also some other classes to help, uh, help me through my struggles that I'm dealing with. Talking to the right people, not just any random people. And resolving anything that may be hidden beneath me that I don't understand.

Yeah, that sounds like some really good stuff there. I like how you mentioned that sharing it with the right people, not just with anybody. And I think that really goes to the passage in scripture, we're not throwing your pearls before swine. The pearls being the things that you're chasing after, the things that are valuable. And I think also the things that are fragile. you know, which is part of who you are. So however way that works its way out is like, no, I don't want to put these in front of people that are going to turn and attack me. I've got to be discerning and make sure as I put this out in front of people, they're people that are going to treat me and the things I'm giving them as the valuable thing that I'm presenting to them so that they care for me and the thing that I'm sharing with them.

Exactly. And I'm not done yet. This process is a longer, long process overall, but I know, uh, in the end God wins and I'll be completely hope I will be completely healed, not hope, but I hope I will get to that point where I am, uh, past this, uh, struggle that I've been going through.

On some level, I think that our society wants us to get through the struggle as quickly as we can. And I think that there's beauty in the middle of the struggle. And I love how you're willing to talk about this right now. And I don't know if this is actually going to come out in May, but we're recording this in May, which is Mental Health Awareness Month. So I love your vulnerability. I like to talk about my own struggles. If people have heard me tell it two, three times, they're like, well, we already know it. We know where you are. But I don't think that we do enough from the standpoint of being able to say, I'm in the struggle now. Don't just pray for me to get through it. Don't just pray for me to be on the other side because I, in the struggle, am learning what I'm going to be able to use to bless other people who later will go through the struggle. Or my journey in the struggle is actually something that will bless people right now while I'm showing them how... you manage going through the struggle in a healthy way or i'm learning to do it in a healthy way or i'm learning to get better at this and instead of we have too much of this idea of immediacy you know fast food society we need it now why have it why isn't the burger ready when i order it you should be handing it to me as soon as i pay you what do you mean i have to wait for you to cook the meal um we we want everything and that's just not what stuff of value is all about. Sometimes the things that are most valuable are the things that are put under the most pressure.

Exactly.

So I appreciate you sharing that, being open to that, and also praying that the journey is enjoyable for you, even in the struggle of the journey. It's one of those things, one of those scriptures, or sorry, one of those scripture characters that I like to pick on is Joseph. And... Like, we all want to rush in Joseph's story until he, because we know the end. And he has his brothers there because he's fixed the famine problem. And his brothers are groveling at his feet. Like, we want to jump to that part of the story. It's like, no, Joseph isn't that Joseph if he doesn't go through the struggle he goes through. He has to. um and uh because of i think he's i think he's arrogant um not everyone interprets scripture that same way i think he's arrogant he's bragging about having these dreams i read that from the way jacob responds to his dreams what do you mean you my your mother and i are gonna bow down to you like like he's Yeah, I think he's just an arrogant young little guy and he has to learn some lessons and he learns them the hard way, but he learns them nonetheless. And then when you see him before Pharaoh, he's humble. He is humble because his life has brought him to the place of being a humble person. And without the struggle, he doesn't save, you know, Egypt. He doesn't save his family. He doesn't do any of that if the struggle's not there. And we forget. I think that's 17 years, if I remember right. Or he was 17 when he went in. Maybe it's 13 years, whatever it is. It's a long period of time. And we just want to read that piece and get to Joseph's the hero of the story. No, go back to Genesis. It's half of the book of Genesis.

I mean, every, everyone struggled, um, three off the Bible. I mean, eventually we have these people that had great faith that made it through that's in Hebrews, but they had to start somewhere. I mean, uh, we got Elizabeth getting pregnant at her age and you don't think to me in those pregnancies these days, but, uh, uh, the fact that she was able to have a child and. and even nurture it and just the faith that she had in that. And then they had Abraham, Isaac, I mean, Abraham offered his only son until the guy said, stop. And so I didn't get to that point where I once was, where I had more faith versus fear and, uh, faith wins every time.

Yeah.

And faith got me where I'm at today. I mean, I mean, I've been on a lot of faith journeys and I went to school with whatever was on my back. in college and the Lord provided. But yeah.

And I think there's some reality on some level of when you're younger, you're down for the fight and the struggle. And as you get older. It's I've gone through this. I don't want to go through again. Like, God, can't we do that? Just speed this up a little bit. God, can't we have a little bit more assurance in this? I need I like I want a little bit more of that. But on the same side, I'm more open to, hey, God, just tell me it's going to be OK. And I'm down like I don't really need it.

i just need to know i'm in the right place and i'm going the right direction then i then i can endure i like what my uh one of the community members said that we're always here yeah and that's the truth i mean think about the community members that are out there that They're not there when you need them the most. And time and time again, everyone in my community that I cherish the most, they're always there for me. They're checking up on me, making sure I'm all right.

So we've covered some of the struggles. What have been some unexpected blessings that you've experienced as being a Twitch streamer and starting a digital church?

Oh my goodness. Uh, the support, uh, from the district level, uh, even down to the local church level to, uh, I, I admire, uh, the most I have had my back, uh, from the very beginning, even though I'm like, where's everybody at? They still are here. Uh, and. I didn't think anyone was still here, but the fact that hearing from a lot of pastors that I've known for so many years that they still, uh, they still, uh, care about me. They believe in me. They, the vision for Liberty Church Online, it's a lot different just because it's not on the platforms that you may think we're on. Liberty Church Online is actually on different platforms versus my normal platforms for streaming and stuff. And that's just because whatever I see an open door and the support even has grown, even on like TikTok and rumble and even, uh, well, of course, Facebook has always been there, but the fact that the community members, I mean, I give them praise for just being who they are. I mean, we are transparent. in our community that we know that we're all struggling with something here and we'll help each other get ourselves out. But having that real support outside of the virtual is probably by far the best thing that's ever happened.

What ways other than encouragement have they been able to give you support? Has there been some coaching that they've been able to do? Here are some steps to follow kind of a thing, procedural, to think through a church plant. Has there been financial? What have been some of those keys? Like you said, you have several pastors in your denomination that's in your corner. What have they been able to do for you?

Another one was a financial blessing. Because I'm not saying I would like to do this full time, but I would like to be able to adequately help people or bring Liberty Church online or give it the respect that it deserves versus, oh, it's going to be 8, 9 o'clock Eastern time, but... Or it might be early morning due to work schedules. I mean, that financial lesson has helped in so many ways. It's allowed me to realize that maybe I don't need this added pressure. And then again, the coaching that I'm receiving and just having those hard conversations with the leaders about how we can go about going forward and let's try to make Liberty church. I mean, my goal, I would love for Liberty church to be a standalone church. Uh, but realizing that I didn't realize the credentials for something like that until they were recently pointed out to me and it was right there clear as day and I missed them.

Yeah.

That, uh, it would be a huge thing if Liberty church became a church by itself recognized, but I know in my heart, we're not there yet. One day we'll get there, but it's not going to be immediate. But going through the coaching that I'll be receiving here in the next couple months and just learning how to be a better pastor. Obviously, if I'm not a better pastor for myself, how can I be a better pastor to the community?

Oh, right. Exactly. Yeah. I think that's one of the things that on some level, I don't know why this is the case, but it seems to me there's this thought of, you know, whatever your credentialing is within your denomination, once you've accomplished it and you have the title of pastor, like, well, then you're arrived, you're either a good pastor or you're not a good pastor. There's no thought of like, I'm going to get better at this and I need to get better and I will learn the things that I am not good at and that I need to grow in so that I can go and get that. It's just like, what do you mean pastors grow? What do you mean? Like everybody does. Why would we not also, you know, be part of growing and learning and getting better and also growing? have a desire to be better. I mean, I want to be better at what I'm doing five years from now than I was or that I was this last week because this last week wasn't great for me in a lot of ways. I definitely want to be better in five years than this week.

And one thing that I've always stressed, even in my normal job, is I always want to continue to learn. Give me opportunities. to continue to grow and be better, whether it's at my current position or whether it's for a future position in the company. And so I've always thrived to want to learn more, but I just need opportunities and access to those opportunities to improve myself.

Yeah. So you said there were many different ways in which you've experienced blessing. What are some others that you've experienced more from your community or that you've witnessed somebody in your community be able to have a blessing?

That's a very good question. Oh, thank you. I've been on the road so much now. Well, one thing my community has done for each other, matter of fact, is learn to support each other and help each other out. Not necessarily giving each other steam games or anything, but they've made the commitment to say, you know what, this person lives about an hour or so away. Let's go spend a weekend with them. And so, and so they've done that and. And which is really cool. And the fact that they're spending time outside, I came home one day and find out that, yeah, we've been out hanging out together. We're within an hour's drive or so. I was like, that is really cool. I love seeing how the community, uh, even though when I'm not streaming and stuff that they're right there, they're going after it and hanging out with, uh, fellow community members and stuff.

Well, yeah, that kind of brings us a little bit full circle. You were talking about how you love doing that and probably partially sharing your doing it and people knowing it has fostered that within the community. If here's something we do, when we have an opportunity to go and meet other people and to go and hang out, we go and we do that because we need the fellowship of the body and gathering together in person expands our ability to do things. So that's really cool.

And they're all very actively involved in Liberty Church Online. Uh, they, uh, they come into not only discord to listen, but they also go into the channels to be active, involved in it as well. And so it's really cool. I wish all the members live so close together, but the church online or big text gaming has never been the, I mean, our motto or our mission statement has always been acts one, eight, be the church wherever you are. And that is what we stand by, that obviously we are not in a building. We're not contained to a building. We are virtually. But yeah, we are within distance from one another. We can still be the church in our own communities as well.

yeah yeah absolutely that being wherever you are is is just a great way to to go about things and those that don't know that's where you'll receive power when the holy spirit comes and you'll be my witnesses in jerusalem judea samaria into the ends of the earth and in many ways the ends of the earth is online uh because we can go to the ends of the earth and go to places that physically um are hostile to the gospel and we can go to places that people aren't open to going into a church because whatever's happened in their life that's a barrier but going onto a twitch stream and and finding people the barrier is lower yeah and uh so uh yeah one of my friends has uh

Well, we're all good friends too. I mean, that's part of that community process. It all started from me taking chances. I mean, my wife has ideas that I'm going to see, going to someplace and I may never come back. It's her ideas. And I had to explain and share the community, how they are. And they all care about my own family too. The fact that. that I can go to someone's place and I'm going to come home the next day because we're, it is not that type of community that's maybe someone's envisioning.

yeah yeah well not not to dox your wife or family or any of that but i know some streamers their spouses might be involved invested in what they do as a stream others their spouses are supported but they're not invested in what's happening on stream or wanting to hang out and connect what has it been like for you and your wife figuring out where it's best for her to be able to support your ministry? Is it being alongside of you? Is it being cheerleader? What has that been for the two of you navigating that?

She's been definitely a cheerleader and supportive through this whole process, the ups and downs and stuff, even though we never fully understand the answer that was given. But the fact that Liberty Church Online is thriving just because of the community and every time she walks in the room, everyone is saying hi to her and stuff. because they know of her. They've seen photos because they follow it. You're leaving, Sonny. Have a good one. You came and you left so quickly. But the fact that she can come in in the community would well wrap their arms around her as if as if it's her their sister or something.

Yeah. And

That was really special when we have a community like that.

Yeah, that's really cool. Like I said, I know in some cases spouses aren't always online and doing things in the same way that the streamer is. And some of it just has to do with personality and other things. My wife loved when I first started and I was in the room next door and she could hear me through the wall. And then I moved downstairs and she complained because she couldn't hear when I was streaming and listen. And I'm like, well, we could just put a computer.

And of course, lately I've cut down my stream time. I was actually watching one of your older videos from like nine months ago. And the fact that. You said it best yourself. Say you're not up till like midnight streaming or anything like that. Like you used to, um, you stream when you're able to. And the most important thing, just like our community, we spend time with our own spouses, everyone in our community, they spend time with somebody. And so they know that we have our survivor Wednesday. So guess what? I'm spending time with my wife and mother-in-law and Watson survivor or. um cut ending the stream by like 10 30 i may get a couple hours in here or there and and then we ended up spending time together the rest of the night so I'm not doing what I used to do in college. This ain't no all-nighter thing where I'm pushing to get more and more people. They will follow me if they truly want to be a part of the community.

Yeah, well, and I think there's a space for those people that are streaming all night long. I am a morning streamer for the most part, and that's where I reach people, and that's when I reach people. yeah i'm i'm in the time and space right now where that fits and if it changes then i'll i'll move to to another time and space but uh it's it's growing in so many fun and cool ways that there are i don't know if we can fully say but i think we're pretty close to yeah there is at least a christian streamer probably on 24 7 that i know um maybe not seven but 24 yes you know i don't know sundays are fully covered 24. um because some streamers that's their their you know they're going to worship in person and they take the day off but i do know some others are still streaming on sunday so like i don't know if we have 24 on sunday well if you look at the time zones and stuff oh yeah you have people in other countries so therefore their saturday is our sunday therefore they're

They're still constantly going. Right now, I minister and talk to people all over the world, especially in the United States. The furthest one in the United States is all the way in California. And then I have New Mexico and Texas, Oklahoma, those areas. And then those that are near me in the Carolinas, Tennessee, that circle there that somehow... I don't know if back when I started on Facebook, if they just kind of circled me around that. But again, once people started sharing your information, then he started reaching more and more people when they realized that, Hey, this is actually a cool guy that we're listening to that he's speaking clearly. and then he's very funny but on that same line back to liberty church online one of the main reasons i even stepped out in faith and doing liberty church online i need to work on my public speaking and what better way is doing a live broadcast in front of your peers Public speaking wise, because if you saw me when I first started, I had a notebook this thick pretty much. And I was reading verbatim on the notebook. What was there?

Okay.

That was my early days. Now I don't even last few years. I haven't used it. I just took scripture for what it is, whether it's a devotional out of a book beyond the still waters and stuff, just take going through that devotional, reading it and then. later, not everything that happened in that devotional is happening to me at that current time, which is a God thing. And then we talk about it in scripture and it gets me more confidence and look into the camera speaking. So it became a helpful tool besides the recording of yourself, the fact that others can see, and I can actually watch my hand movements if they're moving way too much.

Yeah, that's a really fascinating thing about being, you know, as I cross my arms and do this is I can see in real time when I'm doing things and making gestures and how people are seeing me and, you know, receiving that versus being in the pulpit. You're not watching yourself. You're not seeing that. You might be watching people's reactions, but when they react in a weird way, you don't know what you did. And you can't see what you did or what's happening behind you or below you or whatever else that's like, something is off, but I don't know what it is. I don't have a mirror. I'm not on the camera in the back and being able to see myself. Now... Certainly if I was at a, you know, a big giant church, you know, you'd have multiple screens and maybe that would work. But normally if anything's on the back, it's my sermon passage that I'm reading and that's it and nothing more. So yeah, having the, like, we're both able to look right now at each other and we're able to look at our own screens and see what we're doing.

Yeah. One, a question from one of my viewers, I don't know if you can see it, but he's like, yeah, sunny call cab. I've known him for years. He's asked if I was religious and, and I'm a pastor, I've grown up in the church. You can call it religious. You can call it whatever you want, but I'm just someone who just serves God in different capacities. And some people will take religious and they'll. they've come up with their twisted in their own little terminology but uh religious can mean different things to different people and so one you could be a bible thumper which i've known a couple of those that only go through the bible but there's no real life content uh and so uh the fact that i could be a bible sufferer but i'm not gonna tell you all these scriptures that are probably irrelevant to your situation when you want real life results or you want to know what's going on. But as someone who prays to God, who worships God, if you consider those things religious, that's one thing. Going to a religious church, religious setting, be it virtual or even in real life. That people may call those things religious, but it's just a form of worship that we honor God and how we honor God. Even though my title is a pastor itself. All right. He says he prays. Awesome, Sonny Cab. I'm glad that you pray. Praying is the most helpful tool for anybody, myself included.

Yeah. Prayer is that Paul requests prayers from the people he's writing his letters to constantly. He is asking the church to pray for him. So, yeah, Sonny Cab saying he'll pray for you, Tex. I'm like, fantastic. Absolutely. Pastors need prayer. You know, because we are trying to lead, guide and help others. And while we're trying to do that for ourselves and our families. And so, yeah, we absolutely need prayer in everything that we are doing.

Definitely. Wow. What a night.

We got, we're having a great conversation and, and thank you chat for, for chiming in there and joining us all that are here. Appreciate you all taking time and joining us in conversation. So we were talking about some examples of where you've been blessed. Is there any others that come to mind that you can share? Maybe something happened for somebody in the chat or in stream that was unexpected?

Trying to think of recently, besides the one I shared with you. Actually, maybe that's a good one for the chat. see if there's a response on is there a time that you have been blessed through the ministry and stuff in itself i mean you may not be able to answer that question right now but have you been blessed and how have you been blessed in a way uh with uh maybe a pastor or liberty church online how have i influenced you chat to uh to help others or did I help you in any sort of way? Twist it around just a little bit.

Yeah, that's a great question. Let's let's see if anyone has answers to come.

Whether it's on church digital or, or big tech gaming, if I'm big tech gaming, of course, it's just me talking and it might be a little blurry. So definitely if you have any questions, thoughts, or comments, church digital would be the best place. So you can see everything clearly, but I'm just blessed to know each and every one of you here has came into my life. We might not speak all the time, but. Those that have come in from time to time, you have been my rock. You've been there for me. And the biggest thing is how they help each other in the community.

Yeah. Yeah. And you talked about that, which is, which is really cool. I just thought if there was another example, you know, great. I like how you turned it back on chat. Maybe they'll give us something unexpected. We'll wait and see if that comes in and, and, and read that. But I'm also thinking about, I think you and I got connected with a nerd culture ministry collective or nerd culture ministry summit. So how did you get connected with that group of people?

It was very interesting because in the Wesleyan Church or the denomination, when I thought that no one's even heard of me, next time I know I hear people at Indiana Wesleyan University or at Kentucky Mountain Bible College, my name's being presented out there as someone as... a forefront for what God has done. And Stapes, I think that's a name. Okay, yeah, yeah, he's the one that got me connected to this. Oh, yeah, he's the one that got me connected to nerd culture or ministry and summit and stuff. And how he found out about me was through the Wesleyan church, through some other pastors that knew about what I was doing and saw and had encouraged me along the way. And so from someone that asking the questions, he was asking me a starter question. How do you get this whole thing started? I mean, they want to minister to people online, but they don't have the community backing them. And it's not one thing I tell people all the time, you have to start somewhere. If you don't start somewhere, you're not going to have nothing because community wants to be there to support you in everything you do. But if you're just going to just go out there thinking that millions of people are going to come follow you, then you definitely have the wrong intentions because that's not how the community even evolves through many people I've talked to that God has been in a conversation, whether just in a video game or even in a digital format of a church, which that another thing that I've been a part of many different types of churches online, virtually, and actually in GTA five, where we had, where I was a part of a, a real church service with people. I don't know if it was GTA. It might've been another game that was on and they. read the Bible, they prayed, but they are these animated people.

I've definitely heard of GTA being one of those places where people go in. I've even heard of a group of people in GTA that go around to the people that have been harmed in the video game. to help people and to do acts of love and service. And I'm like, that's a pretty interesting way to approach going in. And because some people are going to watch and say, why are you doing that? That's not part of the game. And then they can say, well, you know, we're trying to live out, you know, doing this and we're practicing in the video game and we're going to go out and do stuff in person when we see people in need. And so I. I definitely know that there are people in GTA who are digital missionary at the least. And at the most, there are probably some that do do some gathered worship services and or teachings, Bible studies in the space.

Yeah, I can't remember their name, but he's very famous on TikTok. And I came across his names from someone. And kind of was intrigued. So I became a part of his service and participated in his services. And it was almost like you're, you could be in three with a glasses and stuff, 3d VR. Yeah. The VR. So you had that option as well. And this, uh, but this, he ended up writing some music after all this. And I don't know if he's still part of a church, but. I can't remember what his name is at the moment. You know, I've been a part of it for so long that these different opportunities to be, to bring church where no one has gone to church before and seeing these different avenues, uh,

take place and of course people want to know how are you doing that how does one get involved in stuff like that and through word of mouth I think the how question isn't really the right question in some ways because if you're called to do it you'll figure out how And when you ask the how question, most of the time it's, I'm going to copy what you do. But copying what you do is not really the way to do things. What are the principles that you're following as you're doing it? What is the why of what you're doing? I don't need to have the same why, but understanding that you have a why and how you're pursuing the people that you're pursuing. That's, I think, the thing that we can learn from more than just learn how. Well, you get this particular monitor and you get this particular camera and you get this particular microphone.

No, that's not the right advice. That's an interesting thing because that's actually my philosophy whenever I got into streaming that everyone kept asking the streamer, how are you doing this and that? I was trying to figure out how do I emulate that in my own way? because they could say that, Oh, we're doing, they're not going to give you all their tricks of the trade. So I actually had to figure it out myself. And eventually I mastered a lot of it and tweaked it and was able to be adaptable to where Liberty church online became. It looked like I was on a real stage, but that was just an image I got off Google, but I was standing on a real stage that looked like I was in an auditorium. Right, right.

Yeah, and how is it always a wrong question? But before someone says, like, for instance, I do, and I'm going to be fixing to do this when I get... well, June, I'll be out riding my bike, on my bike, streaming from my bicycle while I'm riding around. I'll be starting that again in June. And somebody else that wants to do that can ask me the real question. How do you do that? But what I want to know first is what are you going to do? Why are you going to do it? Because that's the important thing, not how I'm doing it. Because I'll just point you to a video of somebody else that I watched. You know, but if what you need is the coaching into thinking about the how am I going to do this from a perspective of here's my why. So then do I actually have the right answer for how? Because what I'm doing may not be the right thing for you, you know, so that. And what you might find is there's something better out there. I've only figured out one way to do it. And once you figure out the why, because, you know, why do I ride? Why do I want to do bicycle streams? Because I think that creation is beautiful and I want to bring people on a ride with me when I'm going and looking at creation. That's my why. I want to bring you along for the ride when I'm out exploring and enjoying creation as I do on my bicycle. So I'll bring you along. One of the things I've learned I can't do out by the beach, which I really want to because the cell signal wants to jump across the lake. And I lose signal and I go down a valley and I'm going too fast. So I know I've learned things. I can't go so fast or I lose signal. I can't. So I can explain those things to you. But if I don't know where you're going to do it, you may have the same problems I have. Yeah, true. I'm in a national forest. I mean, I got that problem going for me. So I need to know your why and what you're doing. And then I can, now we can craft this together as to what is the best way for you to approach what I'm doing and adapt it to what you want to do.

And so as I've been helping streamers on various platforms to get them going and not give up because streaming's not easy for anybody. Whether you're going to do IRL streaming, you have to worry about the internet going out on your phone or the loss of signal somewhere. And I've been there, done that. Like tonight, Twitch is very laggy just simply because of the environment I'm at. And I don't stream from hotels that often, but I figure out some tricks to make things work. So that's why I encourage you, if you want to see a good content, tonight's good too, but go to the church digital, you'll see the full thing. And it's not going to be as light because I'm in a hotel room where you never know what you're going to get. But, uh, church digital's in a. home that he's not on the road this time. So, so it's not as bad. And just figuring it out, like we were talking about before we even started, just seeing what's around us that we can be adaptable and change to improve, even though we may not have all the tools. When I first started, I didn't have all the tools to get in the streaming business. I had a... pay some off, get it here and there. The biggest thing I got was a laptop. And even then I didn't have enough storage or enough of this and enough of that. But eventually I was blessed in a way that I was able to receive microphones, cameras, all that from different sponsors over time, but that took time.

yeah something that is not going to happen right away yeah well and there's some things that you know are true so if somebody was asking me what's the most important tech equipment to get starting i'm going to point to a microphone because your microphone your quality People will put up with a blurry, horrible lighting situation, but if they can't hear you when it ends up garbled, they're out. There's no point. You can't put up with that. Some of those things, that's a principle. Now, which microphone? I don't have the answer for you on that. I can guide you to some things that I've learned. I can guide you to some other people that know a whole lot more and go watch them and then make your decisions on that. But... The idea of priority of stuff, I've learned some of those things. And so there's some good principles around those things. And then there's the, like we've already talked about, constantly getting better and better quality of what we're doing. I certainly think my quality is better than it was several years ago, but I still, there's things that bother me. Like I really need a better under, below my face lighting so that I don't have the shadow of a hat on my forehead sometimes.

Yeah. And, uh, lighting has not been one thing I've focused on. Even, I think lighting is the last thing I even got for anything. I mean, I found a $40, uh, uh, huge light that I just put on my desk and that's my stream light now. But back then I just had, you know, those lamps that have four or five, uh, bulbs in them. That was my lighting and that didn't give good lighting anyway. Yeah.

Yeah, well, and I have, you know, with the glasses too, you got the glare, you got other issues, there's that constant, like, so that's part of my problem is adding more lighting adds more possibility of having more reflection off my glasses. I was like, I just don't need that. That's not great. I'm trying to find as many over the summer, because I know several different churches, but I'm trying to find those churches that are connected in gaming and be able to bring them on the podcast and talk about and celebrate. So the next podcast on Monday is going to be XP Church, which is celebrating 10 years on Twitch. So you've been around on Twitch probably as long as Pastor Susie, but not intentionally doing a church as long as Pastor Susie has.

exactly definitely not because uh i didn't intentionally i've known a lot of people who that's one goes by pastor uh and they know him a pastor he's got a hundred thousand views and stuff but he's known for preaching and teaching the word whereas me it was just a gaming platform that evolved into more opportunities down the road to be very creative and being a creative thinker And how can I adapt and change things and make it look like you're still at a church with all the bells and whistles, except for you're physically not in the church. And it's a, I still consider a church plant because it hasn't fully blossomed, but it has grown enough that the community has my back. And that was one of the first questions I asked him on Facebook long time ago. I kind of gave him a poll. I was like, church, how would y'all feel like if I started a church? And everyone said yes. And that was back in 2022. And look where we are. We've had our ups and downs and not consistent, but I'm not really going for consistency. They say stay consistency, but when you have a platform or a community that's got their back, you don't have to worry about consistency too much.

Well, the consistency is in community relationship building, maybe not in worship, maybe not in a stream gathering, but in the community platform. So we haven't really talked about Discord, but I know that you're using that, you're creating it. Have you used other platforms for community or is Discord the place where the community takes place for you?

Discord is definitely the place where community really takes place because we are there. We hang out. That's where our Bible study takes place. We're getting real with Jesus. We just talk about the hard issues and and the stuff in the scripture that no one really wants to talk about. And so a Bible study has formed and I people that keep me in check because of my obligation on the weekend and so But, uh, it's hard to do multiple things. That's why the community is there to really just, uh, keep it going. Cause I can't be everywhere to everyone and keep that. They actually brought forth that Bible study to, Hey, we do this. So it's, it takes breaks like everyone else, but it lets the community know beforehand. So, Hey, we're taking a break. And we're getting others involved. When I first did Liberty Church Online, it was, the setting was very much like the church that I attended. We had someone read scripture. We had someone pray. We had three people very involved and you would hear their voices in the stream itself after the worship and stuff. And then I would give a small message. And so we haven't had as much involvement like that, but I am, I change or adapt depends on where things are going and how my technology is actually able to handle the feed and stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, in some ways knowing, uh, church planting and what's going, you know, what, what church planters go through, it really sounds like in some ways what you've done is establish a really good core group. And and from there, if the core group is empowered, which in a discord community they are, they can step forward and lead and do things that are going to really bless the community. And you don't need to wait for permission to be able to say, Hey, what does the community need? What are you wanting to do in the community? They're stepping up and they're already doing that.

And they're even doing community games, just like you have get togethers, like in a church, you'd go, you might play some outdoor games or some cookout stuff, but they're getting together and say, hey, let's play, let's get a group together and play this game here. And so there's still that involvement, even with me not being present.

Yeah, yeah. And I think that's really when you have a thriving community is when your absence doesn't cause everyone to not be there and for nothing to happen. So that's really good to hear that and see that. Are there things that you have thought about doing that you would like to do? Or actually, are there some things you are in the works planning to try to do in the next year?

That is a very great question. I'm not saying I was trying to survive this year first.

Well, some of those like this year could be a step towards it, you know? So that's what I'm saying is like, you know, what are, what are the, what does the future look like for, for big techs gaming and for Liberty church online?

Let me think about that for a minute. Okay. But, uh, One thing I will say is times are always changing and I'm always being, I've mentioned this many times throughout the broadcast, very adaptable. And as I'm adaptable, I'm also critically thinking, what can I do to improve what we currently have going on here and how can we make it better? whether it's trying different softwares, which is something that I've mentioned before we started.

Oh yeah, go ahead and mention that because we're talking about how do we teach? How do we grow? How do we do those things? So go ahead and mention that.

Well, Prism Live is something I kind of just stumbled upon. And a lot of others have kind of recently done that too. And I use every platform I can get my hands on. If it's for, I was telling my pastor actually this morning, hey, I will test every platform out. If they're free and I know they're good, I'm going to let you know that they're good. But I found a new platform that I'm kind of loving. It's a multi-streaming platform that right now they give you a two-week trial, test everything out for free, and then you only pay $10 a month. Which is, if you look at all the other platforms from XSplit to Streamlabs to Restream, you're spending 30 bucks for Streamlabs. You're spending 19 or $20 for Restream. You're spending maybe 25 for XSplit. And we don't want to pay any more than we have to. And that might come across bad to the software developers, but We're to the point that we're exhausted from paying all these monthly fees that add up over time. And so we can do something for free or there's a better platform out there. Definitely check him out. I'm always experimenting with new platforms, new softwares. If it's something out there, I will find it. If I have not, I will be researching it. So there's always that research and development behind it to make sure it works the way that will benefit my community in a way that I'll say, Hey, if. If I'm telling you it's good, it's good. And I had an affirmation from another creator last night saying about the, not only the free trial, but how Prism Live is literally changing lives right now. Cause it's a new toy. Not everyone knows millions of dollars are not put into it, but it's got all the same features that an OBS studios would have or Streamlabs. I'm not saying it's better, but it depends on your internet speed and how it operates. Just test it out. See for yourself if you like it.

So.

Yeah, definitely do that. I love the constant experimentation of things. I've got plenty of people who've done the multi-stream. I've not gone down that route. I've not gone over to other platforms to do live. I've been on Twitch, and that's where I do live. I do content on other places, but my primary is going to be... twitch and then where do you watch the podcast afterwards you know posting it on youtube spotify apple so that people who do podcasts can listen to it and that's that's been my primary focus um how do you um manage when you're a multi-streaming on other platforms engaging the chat so that every platform feels like they're included in part of it and then how do you get different platforms to join over into discord and be part of the community there

That's a great question. Back when I was streaming mostly on Facebook, not mostly on Facebook, but Facebook was the gateway to the other platforms of multi-streaming. The community members would be like, who are you talking to? I don't see that chat here and stuff. And so that's because all they see is their chat versus the others. And so that's the most comical thing I've seen. And I keep it engaging because every chat that comes in is treated as an individual, not as a number. And so keeping them entertained. I love that you can see them on that. They give you the ability to see the chat with every person there. Some people choose to show it on screen. I don't do that because not everyone needs to see every chat or hear every chat that pops up. And so as I'm engaging with every person, my community has actually kind of followed me wherever I've gone. I'm going to use Chris as an example. Not only Chris, but Brian and Scott and Joe and Coach Joe, everyone in that close-knit community, they have followed me wherever I've gone. and help build that platform up. If I'm streaming only to Twitch right now, that's where I'm streaming. They'll continue to monitor that. And Brian, he's seen, he has been, he's seen everything. And he's like, oh no, Texas found another platform to stream on. I don't want to keep tracking all these other platforms. And so thankfully I've made it easier on him by not having so much that is so overbearing or over powering for anybody to manage. But thankfully I can step in and manage YouTube for my phone. If I see something that's, that shouldn't be happening. Kind of like what a streamer that I can't think of what his name is. He, he was his only moderator and he managed all of his chats. I don't know how you did it, but. that when you manage so many different platforms it is it can be a nightmare and that's a question i've asked a lot or have been asked a lot lately is about that managing it because if you each chat can be slow it can Some chats can be very slow or delayed. Like today's Twitch chat is very delayed because of location wise. But most other ones will be caught up to, okay, we're up to here, but Twitch is still way down here when it comes to those delays. And as long as I have a great internet and connected, like I wish I had a ethernet cable that might've helped the situation. And, uh, and Brian also says that being a good friend with others helps, helps him. So that's kind of a testimony thing we were talking about.

So that's fantastic.

And, but, uh, this managing that chat overall, I am 100% engaged with every person that comes in, no matter if they're coming in for the first time or they are passing by, or they've been here for the long haul. I want to make sure I answer every one of those chat and my wife has come to know me that I can be pretty funny on camera when I want to be what's kind of plastic humor that I don't intend to be funny, but it's kind of one of those moments where I said something very funny that I had to take a look back. Oh, that was funny. And just keeping them engaged and some little stuff, not doing, not overly exaggerating anything at all. Just.

Yeah, yeah. Well, like I said, I have not done that, but I really do think you've nailed some issues there of being genuine to each of the platforms and welcoming to each of them and not ignoring one and addressing every person in there. um you know so that everyone does feel like they're a part of it they're not excluded because they're on a different platform and that like you're in some ways i i this is why i love having conversations with people about what they're doing and how because there's conventional wisdom out there of how you're to be successful as a streamer and then there's people that it's like that's not what you're doing and and yet You're reaching people. And if your goal is to reach people and connect with people and that is showing fruit, I don't care if you're following conventional wisdom or not. It sounds like the fruit is there of building relationships, impacting lives, connecting with people, drawing them into community. That's the fruit that we want to see. It's one of those things where... How do you measure what success is? And, you know, the physical church is going to say, how many people showed up on Sunday and what was the offering and how many baptisms? That's like the three things that we know how to measure. We move online. how do we measure it changes because views don't equal the same thing as people sitting in a pew and giving is not the same expectation of things and and then how do you measure anything else going on but Measuring changed lives and people joining the Discord community and participating and visiting other people are all fantastic things that we've talked about that show real relationship, real connection, and I would say Christ-likeness development within people's lives that are taking place because of what you're doing for people.

Oh, yeah. And of course, the one thing that I've battled time and again is trolls. Oh, I mean, trolls, not just on one platform, but we have multiple trolls on a multi stream and managing those safely. Most of the time, Brian has always been faithful. He's there just about every time I go live and I'll I'll say, Hey, go check out this person on this channel here that it's very suspicious. And so we have to kind of constantly Manage that because you'll have people that all they say is hateful things. That's all they want to do. They want to bring you down, not lift you up.

Yep. Yep. I had had one of those this week where the I had a band. I had a band this week. I like I don't have very many bands. The person came in. Well, they insulted my hat, which whatever. But then they continued to say things that just were rude, crass, attacking, and then continually doing it. It's like, I have one rule here. Like, it's be excellent to each other. That's it. That's my one rule. You're violating the rule, okay? If you can't do that, you can't stay. And they kept saying things that I like, this is not how you talk. And so my bod is like, I got the band hammer ready. You just say when. I'm ready to go because I can, because I'm... I've already banned this person from my chat. So it was like they persisted and it was like, yeah, I had to. And I like, man, I don't know the last time I had to do that. Like most people will if they come in as a troll and you address them, they'll back down. This person was just, I'm going to say whatever I want to say. And, you know, didn't know. And I've had other people come on and say, well, I'm looking to get banned. Well, this person didn't say that they weren't treating it that way. They were just like ignoring anything that was happening around them. And I was like, all right, for the sake of everyone else, you're you're I'm sorry, but you're not able to be in this space.

Yeah, I've actually had a diehard fan. If you've ever met a super. Uh, a person that is so diehard crazy over some individual, I've had one or two of those one in particular, I've had abandoned at least five times. Oh man. Only by the grace of God, we always bring them back and stuff. And, uh, but i'm not saying that he changes the ways but i've actually known him since he was in high school and now he's a working adult now and so we've known each other for six years and during his high school years he he would always be intentional being a troll but he's a good person overall and he loves god he attends church faithfully but he just uh kind of trolled me for a while but And whether it's by language or what, but he always came back no matter what. When I went live, I was always, I always saw him in the lives.

Well, yeah. And that's a thing that I don't know that a lot of people think about or, or pay attention to is there is the capacity to request to be unbanned. I probably, you know, had between three and five bands in five years. That's probably the most that it's happened. Probably a couple of those were my mods doing that right away in the beginning of things with when I was trying to figure out stuff and, and people being persistent, but it's like, I've never had anyone request to be unbanned, which means they knew what they were doing. They were intentional about it. They're not remorseful about it and they're not looking to come back.

Yeah, I get several of those personally that would message me asking to be unbanned. Now, if you're going to come ask me to be unbanned, then you're not going to get unbanned because. The way I operate is not how you think that, oh, if you just ask me, I'll unban you and stuff. No, it's a process like anything else that when the time ends right, when I feel that you have maybe learned your lesson, you'll come back and everything can be back to normal. Believe it or not, it actually helped shape and mold this person because of the discipline that was being required and stuff. Yeah. And he's now one of my good friends, even though he's got his little quirks, but we all have those.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I love the building relationship even through the band. That's really cool to be able to do that. You know, one of the things with Discord has the you can give people a timeout for a certain length of time. Oh.

Oh, my moderators had fun with that with the same person. And then, uh, I think by the fifth or sixth time, I was like, okay, you can come back or even a year down the road. I'm not an abandoned for a year, but guess what? He still came back as if he was, as if it was day one. And he, uh, he really, he was enthralled and thrilled to come back and. But it's part of the process and people got to learn and to respect people first and foremost.

Oh yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, is there anything we haven't covered that you'd like to share or talk about?

I think we have covered a lot during this timeframe. I think we've answered so many questions. I'm not going to ask the chat this time because it's been really delayed on Twitch.

It's too far behind to make that.

Yeah. So Ted, by the time you read this, the line will be over at that point. Yeah. And so, but. Um, well, if they have any questions, they can always, uh, reach out to big tech gaming and whether it's a personal or even gaming related, tactical related, because I've built PCs, um, or tried to my PC. I build, it's still not working right. But so, uh, uh, for most technical questions, I'm there to assist and help them in any way. One thing I'll let them know that you will never be big text game. And there's only one big text game in here and you are not him. So therefore, uh, I will show you some tricks. Most of you got to learn on your own. It's not trick or treat, so you don't get a treat every single time. But being who I am has separated me from everyone else, which has made me unique and different. And how I do things from doing a lot IRLs to doing a live podcast right from my hotel room and so to even vlog and then vlog and all that fun stuff.

Yeah, we got a raid coming in. So welcome. You know what that means?

Welcome in Raiders.

Charles Q. Banks rating. Welcome. 30 of 34. And Samarella coming in. Good to see you, Samarella. Hope you are doing well. Hope you're feeling well. Welcome, Raiders. So Charles Q. Banks, glad to have you in here, friend. Firefly1855. greetings and salutations charles chill raid god bless you all appreciate that thank you thank you thank you everybody coming yes thank you um we're we were kind of pretty close to to wrapping up the the podcast but Those that do not know, I am Flat Cap Dapper Pastor. This is a podcast, and this is Control-Alt-Redeem. We are resetting the culture and redeeming the space, specifically in Twitch. But just thinking of the internet in general, where there are people that... are lost and lonely, and they need the light of God where they're going. And so Big Tex Gaming is who's been on the podcast. So Big Tex, introduce yourself to everybody coming in with a raid.

All right. Welcome all raiders all over the place. I am Big Tex Gaming. You can find me on literally every platform, streaming virtual trucks. simulation games, anything I can get my hands on that's community driven we're playing. So.

Yeah, that's fantastic. Uh, you want to tell them also Liberty, uh, church? Oh yes. Oh yeah.

Forgot I got two platform or not two platforms, two, uh, two pages in a way. One is Liberty church online that had started back in 2022. I was asked by the district to come and say, Hey, what would Liberty church online look like virtually? How would it look? And so I took that idea. I actually wrote, I forget. I did write a two-page paper on what it would currently look like. Now, it doesn't look like that now from what it is today, but we're very transparent. I'm transparent about my emotions, feelings on what's going on. And right now it's on the weekends. I'll be doing Liberty Church online around eight o'clock tomorrow night when I get home. That's Eastern time zone. For those that want to check it out, we are live on Twitch, YouTube. Facebook on my personal page at the moment, because the Liberty Facebook page only has 55 followers and then run Tik TOK and rumble. And you can check out those file platforms for that big text games on just about everything out there. Check it out. Love to have you guys and gals hanging around.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, Charles, I appreciate you coming in. And Charles has been on the podcast before. And so you can check out Charles, the podcast where he was on on YouTube. I've got to check if he and I don't have it in front of me. If I. I feel like I did get it updated. So he is now out on Spotify and Apple podcast as well. But all of season one is not out yet on Spotify and Apple. I release one every other week for that, but I release the new season of season two every week. So you'll be able to catch those. Zach Attack. Greetings and salutations. Zach Attack hanging out with Charles Q. Banks. Appreciate you, Zach Attack. Good to see you, friend.

Welcome, everyone. Yeah, we've had a great conversation and never know where it's going to take you on the journey itself because the journey is never complete. We are not running a sprint. It's a marathon like a pastor's. are always saying that this race over here, it's a long marathon. You're going to go through the mountains. You're going to go through the valley. You're going to go through some deep water. You're going to go through some areas you are uncomfortable. But guess what? God will always lead us out. to the right path.

Absolutely. Um, just to kind of, you know, honor the people that came in, um, with the raid. Um, I was going to, I was thinking to ask you this right before the raid came in. I was going to ask you, how can we be praying for, uh, Liberty Church online? How can we be praying for you, Big Tex Gaming? But I'm going to also ask if anyone... coming in is in need of prayer. Are there some things that we can be praying for you about before we end the stream and find somebody to go raid to?

Well, for Liberty Church Online, just continued growth in the areas that people will still find Liberty Church Online and kind of like the same impact we had this past Mother's Day. that people will hear Jesus, that it won't be sugar-coated, which nothing is ever sugar-coated. It's literally being me transparent with them. I'm going through a lot of struggles. The devotions I've been going through have literally been speaking to me right as I'm with no preparation at all because as a pastor... I don't have time to prepare every week for something because I am constantly working two jobs on top of it. So pray for me that I get rest and that I'm able to have a clear mind and going through these personal struggles for myself, that God will help me.

me get past these these areas that i'm battling with and so yeah absolutely um i'll go ahead and pray and if as i said anybody in chat if you had a prayer request feel free to put that in there um god we're just lifting up uh big text gaming love his heart for you, love his desire to make himself better and to get better in relationship with you and to get better as a pastor. So I'm so thankful that he's got some teaching that's coming up, some coaching that he's going to be able to participate in. I thank you for the mental health avenues, which he is going to be pursuing to be able to help get stronger in mind and so that he can serve well. Let's pray for the journey that he is on, that you continue to use him and multiply his influence. And with that, we pray for Liberty Church Online. It is your church. It is the gathering of your people. And so we just pray that you will use it. that you will raise up leaders within that church community, that you will bless the approach that he is taking to be multiplatform, that not everyone can do that. And it sounds like you have uniquely gifted him in ways to be able to reach across platforms, bind people together, and created a space where people want to and continue to reach out, connect with one another, love with one another, pray with one another. and spend time in the word with one another. So God, just use him, multiply him, bless his family, watch over all that he is doing, continue to take care of his financial needs as you have been, and bless him in a special way that he knows and feels it's just from you. And we give you all the glory and praise for that and pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Amen. Amen.

Samarella saying, yeah, might get admitted back, but only know by tomorrow. Okay. The one and only Creepy Pro. Welcome and good to see you, friend. Samarella, let's pray for that. God, just lifting up Samarella. I don't know all that's going on with the current situation where she might get admitted back, but I pray for it. to be whatever is needed if she does need to get admitted back, that it is going to be to her blessing and her benefit and her healing and restoration and continued recovery and strengthening that she is going through. And we give all the credit to you for successful surgery and for her healing already. And so... If she's admitted, then we know it is what she is in need of. And if you're able to heal her and it's not time to go back and she doesn't need to, then we give you praise for that. We just pray for you to continue to strengthen her heart, literally, and strengthen her body and be with her mind and all the emotions, the anxiety, the fears, whatever they may be, that you just bring her comfort and peace. Let her know in all certainty that we love her and that you love her and that we're just so thankful to have Samarella around. And just ask your blessing upon her. Whatever happens tomorrow and whatever needs to take place, that you were there and you're going to bring healing and restoration. Just pray this in Jesus' name.

Amen. Let's go over to Pastor Susie.

Well, he's on both of them. So, you know. Oh.

Well, let's go to XP Church.

Let's go to XP Church. All right. I like that idea. All right. I will start that. Yep.

I will say thank you for having me on this podcast. And it's been great. I mean, maybe another time. Who knows?

Yeah, yeah. Appreciate it very much. Thank you, everybody, for hanging out with us this evening. We're going to go raid XP Church. Actually, you know what?

I'm just wondering, has he been on for an hour and a half?

So I'm guessing he's not done. I'm guessing he's not done. Anyway, we'll go bless him anyway. So we'll start the raid. Thank you, everybody, for being here. If you want to raid out as well, we'll get a double raid. But otherwise, thank you, everyone, and have a great rest of your day.